Loneliness, despair, hopelessness, unworthy. Sounds like a pharmaceutical commercial. Take a pill to help with these symptoms but beware if you have thoughts of suicide or harming yourself or others! So how do we cause these feelings to subside? How can we make ourselves feel better? Obviously the “miracle pill” may not be the best choice.
If “happiness is a warm gun” should I buy a gun? Now call me crazy but this sounds like fun. At a shooting range…with a target…of something that makes me feel sad…hmmm. Alright, in all seriousness I may have to find something a little more practical. I would go to the gym but I lack the motivation to go (remember the commercial?). I can’t continue to bug the friends I have because they have their own lives. Now here lies the root of my sadness. I am alone.
In the movie “P.S. I Love You,” Kathy Bates character, Patricia, says to Holly (Hilary Swank) who lost the love of her life (yummy Gerard Butler) and is feeling incomplete and alone without him,”So now, all alone or not, you gotta walk ahead. Thing to remember is if we’re all alone, then we’re all together in that too.” I know, beautiful thought, great quote, loved the movie, but such b.s. I am just alone! All I want is to have someone to share everything with, my life, my love, my damn toothbrush if I have to!
I am not asking to live in a movie. I am not that unrealistic. I just want to have someone to go to the movies with!
Ever heard this one? “Think before you speak.” Now here is my problem, I do. Oh what? Did I say something? Hmmm, it wasn’t politically correct?
Basically I am just tired of every one being so shocked by the things that come out of my mouth. Let us face it, better out than in.
So my thought of the day….still waiting for my ex to die. For those of you that think this may turn into a Dateline special, sorry, I haven’t thought it out completely yet. Unfortunately, I would get caught. I only know this because the good people always do and I always keep in mind that no good deed goes unpunished. I am just patiently waiting for my ex to do it himself. I am watching 1000 Ways to Die and ohhh the possibilities.
I know we aren’t supposed to wish ill will onto others and karma can be a bitch bu-ut, my life is already a living hell with him in it so how much worse could it be without him constantly doing things to fuck with me? Well, I will keep everyone posted, hopefully I’ll be done chiseling his headstone before it’s needed.
“Here lies an ass in a hole, hee haw.”
Lately I have been contemplating the possibilities of moving abroad. Actually, I have always wanted to move abroad. It once was a very scary idea and I guess I wasn’t in a place in my life that I thought it would be necessary. The reason why I say necessary instead of possible is because I was younger, my friends were younger, most of us were single and with no children. Now, almost all of my friends are married with children and many have drifted away from my life. I am the single mother, no boyfriend and no prospects.
At his point in my life I am feeling in need of a drastic change; some adventure. Unfortunately, my son’s dad would never let me take our son and of course I couldn’t leave without him. Now, if something ever changed it has always been my dream to move to Germany. I am in the midst of learning German for when that moment comes.
As for the social experiment it partly has to do with moving to Germany but also my life as a US citizen. I understand that I may receive some flack for my beliefs but I don’t expect everyone to agree. I am very unhappy with how this country is being ran and with our immigration policies.
We have such an economic crisis I find it disturbing that Obama (your president not mine) wants to grant amnesty to foreign parents that come to the US illegally and give birth here. Totally unacceptable! I couldn’t go to Germany illegally and expect to stay there illegally and their government be fine with that. I fully expect to comply with any requirements to move to Germany including learning the language.
So, for my social experiment what would happen if I renounced my United States citizenship but lived here as an illegal. Now I could not be considered an immigrant because I was born here. I wouldn’t have to pay taxes, I could get a drivers license, I can work and get free health care. They wouldn’t be able to deport me because they would not have any place to deport me to.
I know this sounds totally crazy and off the wall, but think about it for a minute.
Just a side note: Despite what some may believe I have always been extremely patriotic and support our brave men and women that fight to keep this a “free” country. I also believe that we need to keep this a safe country and there are very valid reasons to have strict borders as many other countries do.